I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
