New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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