I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
