I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
