I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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