I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
