then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
