She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i came on her dog
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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