ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Your cock deserves a montage
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
