Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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