I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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