I hope mine doesn't look like that
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
