That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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