So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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