i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
