you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
