Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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