i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
