I'm drive I can fine osifer
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
