i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
