i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
