I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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