Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize