Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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