who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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