YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
