walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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