she woke up with a sticky ear
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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