this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
