He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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