Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
