But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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