I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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