Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
