I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
