I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
