I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
