that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
