I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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