well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
the liver wants what the liver wants
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
