hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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