I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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