i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
