ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
