i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
