ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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