You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
