The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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