ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
