I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm getting married
To pizza
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
