omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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