are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
