There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
