Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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